I’ve spent a lot of my life debating, but my main sparring partner has been myself.
Like most people, I struggle with self doubt, and mine takes the form of a constant back-and-forth analysis, wringing the shit out of any interesting idea until there’s nothing squishy left to nourish into something worth growing.
Luckily, last year, I caught myself a few months into that unintentionally destructive process and launched this Substack. I had no idea who I was writing for, what I’d be writing, or what my long-term plan was for writing…and to be honest, I still don’t really have those things figured out.
But, after a few adolescently clunky initial posts where I was clearly trying to figure out my spiel, I had an important realization: I just needed to write whatever the shit I wanted to write about and in the style I enjoy doing it in.
So, today, to celebrate getting this blog off the ground that has become a comforting space for me, I want to reflect on the CIA Reject’s (and my) milestones. Let’s brag!
In the past year…
I’ve published 46 blog posts, resulting in 12,000 events, 5,800 views, and 611 users from 33 countries, read in 13 languages (my day job is in marketing, ok?)
I produced two podcast episodes with nearly 400 downloads in 22 countries
My most popular stories were:
My writing has been published on two Substacks: Grumpy Combat Veteran and #NatSecGirlSquad newsletter
I’ve gotten to know multiple Afghans in totally different situations: my Dari teacher in Kabul who is hoping to attend med school in the U.S.; my stateside mentee (who I interviewed for my podcast) who has been here for a few years; and a recently-evacuated-and-resettled Afghan family of 9 who I’ve been trying to help get acclimated
I’ve learned a lot about writing, especially when it comes to some of the more sensitive topics I’ve ventured to explore.
Being vulnerable about my perspectives and opinions relating to anti-Semitism and Israel has generally been met with muted reactions, while other serious topics like discussing my past biases and writing about my brother have garnered positive feedback.
And sometimes, the topics that I’ve had the most fun writing (e.g. Qatar being the Big Pun of the Middle East or discussing how terrorist organizations are like corporations) fell flat while my beloved listicles elicited some chuckles.
This entire writing journey began when I had just lost my job, witnessed the horrors of October 7, and watched how the world reacted to the subsequent war. It was and has been my way of trying to share what I know about a complicated region and relay information in a way that isn’t bombastic or overly professional.
As most subscribers already know (because I personally know most of them), I got rejected from the CIA and, according to folks from the public sector and military whom I’ve talked with recently, I dodged a bullet. Lucky me.
I think writing bitchy blogs from the comfort of yoga pants is probably more rewarding than navigating a bureaucracy in a pantsuit, n'est-ce pas?
Lastly, I honestly didn’t think anyone would read what I had to say, let alone give me feedback on it. My subscriber base is humble, unlike today’s post, but I deeply appreciate the fact that anyone reads CIA Reject and, maybe, enjoys it, too.
What Will said! Keep writing.
Congrats! Keep writing!